Fixing the printer

I had a printer, an HP Deskjet something-or-other color printer. Like all HP printers, it gave me no end of trouble. One day I got bored and decided to fix it once and for all.

This is the printer.
These are my guns, a .22 from K-mart, and a military surplus something-or-other.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
This is the compound bow I bought at an auction for $20. I don't have the faintest idea how to use a bow, so it normally hangs on the wall in the bedroom in case an intruder needs to be intimidated. The bow came with several good hunting arrows (which I never touch), and a bag full of crappy ones.
I decided to use some crappy arrows to intimidate the printer.
 
 

Unfortunately, my repairs were unsuccessful: the printer worked exactly as well after the repairs as it did before.